“Tell me more.” This simple but powerful phrase is the key to having better conversations, engaging another person’s interest, and making people want to talk to you. That insight comes from Matt Abrahams, Stanford lecturer in organizational behavior, and author of the new book Think Faster, Talk Smarter (Simon & Schuster, 2023).
Although Abrahams has degrees in psychology and communications, he learned this powerful phrase from his mother-in-law, he writes in a piece at CNBC.com. In Abrahams’ family, people talked over each other, and whoever was loudest was the only one who got heard, he writes. So when he married, he was deeply impressed with his mother-in-law’s emotional intelligence and her generosity in inviting others to speak about themselves.
“Her favorite phrase was ‘Tell me more,’ and it happens to be one that people who are good at small talk always use,” he explains. He adds, “I sensed immediately how much connection she forged with those three simple words, and I saw how much she learned from the people with whom she conversed.”