In a world obsessed with the pursuit of happiness, Dr. Ellen Langer, a Harvard professor often dubbed the “Mother of Mindfulness,” delivers a strikingly simple yet profound insight on decision-making and happiness. Her advice? Rather than agonizing over making the perfect choice, we should focus on making our decisions right.
The paralysis of perfection
Dr. Langer’s philosophy challenges our conventional wisdom. She suggests that the stress we experience in striving to make the “right” decision is often misplaced. Whether it’s choosing between an Almond Joy or a Snickers, or life-altering decisions like marriage or career paths, the principle remains the same. You can only live one life, and since it’s impossible to experience every alternative, obsessing over the “what ifs” is futile. “Regret is so mindless,” Langer states, pointing out that the path not taken is often idealized without basis.
This idea resonates deeply with the concept of ‘counterfactuals’ or ‘what if’ thinking. While imagining different scenarios is a crucial part of human cognition and helps us become expert decision-makers, it can also lead us down a path of regret and unhappiness when misused. The balance lies in recognizing when this adaptive mechanism becomes counterproductive.